A couple weeks ago I had my evaluation. My
co-workers stated that I am too independent and that I need to work better with
the team. I’ve always known that I don’t work very well in groups, so that
wasn’t too big a surprise. The thing that I found interesting was the negative
connotation that was associated with “independent.” In the United States if
someone calls you independent, it is a high complement. Here, it implies that
you are egotistical, selfish, and outside of relationship. Independent people
are not communicating and working with the community, for the good of the
community.
And they have a point--too much independence can be unhealthy. As much as I would really like to just do everything on my own and how I want it to be done, I need to learn to work in a team. I have to learn when to use my voice and suggestions and then when to listen and follow. I have to learn to trust that I’m not the only person that can do things right. This ability of being able to work in a group does not only apply to jobs, however. It also applies to communal living—whether it be in our intentional JV community, a married couple, a family, a society, and/or our world. All of these could be bettered with a little less independence and a little more communal thought and action.
It is so ingrained in our culture to be independent that I think we even equate independence with freedom. Here I am learning that this quest for independence tends to border greatly on selfishness, which in turn tends to go limiting the freedom of many other people. Our world can’t possibly survive if everyone tries to live independent lives. We are all here trying to share this Earth, so by default we are all participating in a type of communal living. No one is outside. Even if you lived on an uninhabited island by yourself, you would still be part of the community, as the air you breathe is still connected with the air that everyone else breathes and pollutes in this world.
Unfortunately with communal living comes compromise and sacrifice. We might not always come out with everything that we personally want, but if the broader picture looks healthy, then we need to be okay with conceding a bit. We have to realize that although it may feel like we are each the center of the universe, we are only one part of something much larger.
And they have a point--too much independence can be unhealthy. As much as I would really like to just do everything on my own and how I want it to be done, I need to learn to work in a team. I have to learn when to use my voice and suggestions and then when to listen and follow. I have to learn to trust that I’m not the only person that can do things right. This ability of being able to work in a group does not only apply to jobs, however. It also applies to communal living—whether it be in our intentional JV community, a married couple, a family, a society, and/or our world. All of these could be bettered with a little less independence and a little more communal thought and action.
It is so ingrained in our culture to be independent that I think we even equate independence with freedom. Here I am learning that this quest for independence tends to border greatly on selfishness, which in turn tends to go limiting the freedom of many other people. Our world can’t possibly survive if everyone tries to live independent lives. We are all here trying to share this Earth, so by default we are all participating in a type of communal living. No one is outside. Even if you lived on an uninhabited island by yourself, you would still be part of the community, as the air you breathe is still connected with the air that everyone else breathes and pollutes in this world.
Unfortunately with communal living comes compromise and sacrifice. We might not always come out with everything that we personally want, but if the broader picture looks healthy, then we need to be okay with conceding a bit. We have to realize that although it may feel like we are each the center of the universe, we are only one part of something much larger.
I will leave you with a quote by MLK Jr. that I think is relevant to this blog:
“In a real sense all life is interrelated.
All…are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment
of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. I can never
be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be
what you ought t be until I am what I ought to be. This is the inter-related
structure of reality.”
Love, Jana
Thanks for sharing, Jana! As always, your words inspire me. Hope we can talk soon. I miss you!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with your thoughts on independence and how cultures interpret the concept positively or negatively. However, while independence is all too common in the states, I find that here in Latin America, dependence is far too common...in all aspects of life. Either way, it is especially important to find a balance in the middle.
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