Dios

This week Aparecida (a Sion nun from Brazil that works at the project with me) began a discussion with the one of the groups of women, asking where they find God in their lives. After a great pause, a couple women offered, “La iglesia” (church). Not satisfied with this answer, Aparecida then asked if one can find God in other human beings. One woman immediately shook her head firmly indicating no. These answers completely took me by surprise, as my initial reactions to these questions were so profoundly different. I thought about their answers for a long time, and I came to the flimsy conclusion that maybe their lives on Earth are so painful and lacking in love that they don’t actually experience God as being among us here and now. God and heaven are perfect and amazing while humans and earth are ugly and flawed. Maybe they are just going through life waiting around for the one day that they die and are able to reach that better life in heaven with God.

BUT….then I also realized that their view of God and the world is actually not that uncommon. There are many people in the U.S. as well that seem to separate God/humans and the kingdom of heaven/the world. I remember hearing a story once about someone asking a child in the U.S. where God is found and he points to the sky. The person later asks the same question of a little boy from Africa and he points to his heart. I think this story epitomizes the way many people in our society see God as being some separate being that maybe only intervenes for special cases like a miracle. And really, how else could it be that we have such a large majority of Christians in our country and yet, so many people in the U.S. that are plagued by hunger, homelessness, joblessness, a laughable education, lack of health care, and maybe even worse, indifference.

This discussion at work coincided with my reading of the book Tattoos on the Heart by Gregory Boyle S.J., which may be another reason why I found their answers so riveting. Throughout the entire book, Boyle refers to finding God in the people and the world around him, even in the gang members of LA with whom he works. He finds God in each broken gang member, seeing his or her worth as a human being because of this. Boyle’s view of people in our society is so beautiful, although admittedly very difficult to live out. How do I wish love and goodness upon the man hissing and objectifyingly yelling “CHELA BONITA” at me as I walk through El Recreo on the way to work? How do I find God in the man that gets drunk and beats up my coworker?

I guess all I can do is keep trying.

P.S. You should all now go read Tattoos on the Heart. : )

1 Week Down

            I have only been at work for 6 days now, and I am already exhausted. I wake up between 6:10-6:30 each morning (depending on whether or not Heather and I have a morning exercise dance party or not), take a freezing shower, make some toast on the stove, and settle myself for a few minutes with some music before leaving the house at 7:15. Then Heather and I squeeze ourselves onto one of the packed Managua buses heading towards El Recreo. Two stops after the peacock rotunda (as Heather refers to it, although it looks nothing like a peacock), we get off and walk about 10 minutes through the barrio, greeting all the machista men with Buenas or Adios before they can say anything crude.

          This week we were mostly in meetings for the semester evaluations, but a couple days were extremely busy, filled with lots of money, women, and words I didn´t know. I feel like I’m being trusted with a lot right at the beginning, so it´s rather stressfull. The second day of work, I was already being asked to lead my two groups of women and to help in the process of receiving the women’s weekly payments--neither of these went very well. One of these groups was especially complicated because the women were closing out the end of their cycle. This meant that each loan needed to be completely paid off by that date. Most of the women were able to accomplish this, but one woman still had 2,300 Cords left unpaid. We then had to divide the 2,300 cords among all of the women in her group and make them pay it for her.

         I can already tell that working in the bank is going to be amazing and yet very, very difficult. Not only am I trying to learn a new language, I am attempting to learn the names, lives, and “addresses” of about 400 women. I will also have to learn to strike the balance between being a friend and confidant while also applying firm pressure for the women to pay back their loans. There is also quite a lot of stress to precisely handle and count the money we receive down to the last centavo. I have had to count and recount entire pages of figures due to inequalities at the end. Everyday we have so much work to do that I´m not sure how it all gets done...and with the evaulations taking up most of this week, we ended up having to go into work during the morning today (Saturday) too.

         I have definitely had some frustrating and negative feelings in the past week, but in the process I have been learning so much as well as facing many of my fears. Not being able to understand everything they tell me is very hindering, but I just have to trust the process that pretty much every other JV has had to go through as well. Only problem...I have almost ZERO patience. haha. I´ll have to work on that one...

 

Other random things that I have encountered since being here:

-I shopped at the local outdoor market que se llama Huembes by myself last weekend and bargained for all our vegetables for the week!

-I feel tall in this coutry, and I like it. haha
-Chelsea, Tobin, Erling, and I went to Masachapa, a beach on the Pacific Coast last week. beautiful!
-I know the Fresco Lady likes me because last time I went, she barely put any ice in my Fresco…aka more Fresco…yuummmm. I’m addicted :)
-I weighed myself the other day, and I’ve lost 10 pounds.
-Heather and I are going to restart a Zumba/Jazzercise class 2 times a week at the project after work!

-I have also discovered some small joys in life since being here. 

           1. ...after you finish using the toilet and you know that the water has already gone out, but you push down the lever hoping that there is still that one last flush left before it won’t fill up anyone…and it works! No running back and forth from the water jug to the toilet with the leaking pitcher that is barely being held together by duct tape! 

           2. ...when you realize that you didn’t sweat enough that day to warrant your shirt needing a scrubbing on the pilla. 

           3. ...getting a seat on the bus. 

           4. ...entering a room and being greeted with a hug and cheek kiss by everyone in the room.

           5. ...playing Nicki Minaj´s Super Bass for Heather (her first time hearing the song). hahahaha sigh.

That is all.

Love you all, and I´ll leave you with some pictures. :)

-Jana

                                                      Eating Sopa de Mondongo at the fair in Arenal

                                               The View off our rooftop

                                                 One of the waterfalls we jumped off in Lagartillo

                                                        The poster in the room I was in while staying in Lagartillo...hahha

                   New Year´s Eve in Lagartillo....the muneco representing the old year burning in the background.

                                                    The view from our hammock

                                            On retreat at Lago de Apollo...(also Ela´s Bday)

                                          Lago de Apollo---deepest crater lake in at least Nicaragua.

Merry Christmas!

Hola! I hope everyone had a wonderful and loving Christmas and New Year’s! As this was my first Christmas outside the U.S. and without my family, it was a very strange one---and yet, with my JVC family here (along with the visiting families of JVs), we managed to make it a rather normal one. On Christmas Eve, Bianca’s family cooked a huge feast, and we then played games, watched Miracle on 34^th Street, and attempted to shoot off a few fireworks at midnight. The next morning we woke up, improvised some French toast, stuffed ourselves with cookies, drank the Cacao/Rum mixture that our awesome in-country Jesuit Fr. Joe brought us, and exchanged Secret Santa gifts. The tradition with Secret Santa here is that you give 3 gifts to your person: one found, one made, and one bought (60 Córdoba or less—about $3US). It was really interesting and funny to see the different things that people came up with for each gift. I got some coconut earrings, nail polish, coupons for a refresco date and a back massage, and an oh-so-lovely sounding romance novel called Texas Woman. (haha) After that, we sat around and sang Christmas songs while Heather and Lauren played guitar. It was all so simple and yet very, very beautiful. 

I was also grateful to be able to talk to my family on the phone for a bit as well. I had only been able to talk to my mom for a few minutes at the Cyber once before, so it was really nice catching up with everyone.

So fast forward a bit--for the past week all four new Nica JVs and I have been in a campo community called Lagartillo, where we were living with campo families and going to Spanish school. Getting there was an insane adventure in itself, as we missed every single bus that Tony told us to take, and we ended up traveling across Nicaragua with only city names and random Nicaraguans to guide us. We did end up making it there with most of our self-confidence still intact, though.

The following days passed too quickly. Mi profesora Lisbeth and I met for four hours each day to study Spanish, where I asked her every single Spanish-related question I could possibly think of. When I wasn’t in class, I was falling in love with the Nicaraguan people and the beauty of campo life. One day I spent the afternoon picking coffee beans with my homestay mother, Mama Fran and her grandson Ronald. Another day we hiked out to a gorgeous series of waterfalls and jumped off a few. We also climbed down them, and one Nicaraguan named Yomar showed us a small cave behind one. Another day I learned the process of tortilla making, starting with the grinding of the corn and ending with a semi-round tortilla that Mama Fran had to go back and fix for me.

The nights were also just as beautiful (although we tended to go to bed around 9:00 each day--haha). But really--never have I looked at the sky and almost not been able to find Orion because there were so many other stars. And when you add your friends and a beautiful Nicaraguan man singing songs with his guitar, the moment really can’t get any better. 

Hmmm. I realize that I’m probably still in the “honeymoon stage” when it comes to my love of the campo, but who knows…maybe one day I’ll decide to actually live in a place like that.

But anyway, right now I’m back in Managua just hanging out. I don’t start work until this next Monday (Jan. 9^th), so Chelsea, Tobin, Tobin’s Nicaraguan friends, and I might go to the beach tomorrow or something. Vamos a ver. I hope all of you are doing well, and sorry this is so long. I feel like I didn’t even cover half of everything, but I won’t subject you to more. Haha

Con mucho amor!

Jana