Saturday, March 9, 2013

Les Miserables

A couple weekends ago our In Country Coordinator, Joe Mulligan, invited us to go see Les Miserables in a nearby movie theater. I saw the play a really long time ago with Kelly, but I hardly remembered any of it. This time I found it much more impactful. This movie is amazing in so many ways—the actors, the music, the history…pretty much all of it. I also couldn’t believe how many different themes it touches on that I deeply connect with. It brings up the topics of the disillusionment with the government, the plight of women, justice versus forgiveness, the value of human life, the need for spirituality coupled with action, and the higher purposes in life.
 And, yes, while I realize that Les Miserables is based off French history that happened in the 1800s, I seriously could not help but think of the current reality of the world during the movie. Here are some of the themes that affected me and their connection to the world I know and see today.
Disillusionment with the Government
In Le Mis the failures of the government are obvious. The system sets up a society in which only small percentage of the French population holds a vast majority of the money, there are no social services offered to those that are struggling to survive, and the justice system incarcerates petty thefts for many years.
       These same failures still occur today all over the world, including the United States and Nicaragua. Due to lack of regulation, exploitation flourishes in the workplace, causing the rich to get richer and the poor to become even poorer. Due to lack of transparency, money that should be used for social programs ends up in the pockets of government officials and their friends. Due to corruption of the legal system, only those with money that can afford to pay the high fines and a good lawyer are able to get out of jail.
 Plight of Women
In the movie, Fontine is just a another woman in need of work to help feed her daughter. When she is unrightfully fired from her job, she turns to many different methods to earn an income. Eventually in desperation she turns to prostitution.
      Are women objects, property, slaves, sinful, weak and lower human life-forms? Definitely not. Are they still treated this way? It angers me to say that in almost every society of the world these sentiments either blatantly or subtly still manifest themselves. Here is Nicaragua, it tends to be very blatant. So many men do not treat women with the respect they need and deserve. They yell out objectifying comments in the streets about female bodies. They pay women on the street sometimes as low as 30 Cordobas for sex…the better streets pay 100 (4 US$). They cheat on wives with younger girls and then later hit them when asked where they’ve been and where all the family money has gone. They threaten to kill their women if they ever leave them. They tell the woman that her place is enclosed within the walls of the house, cooking every meal over a wood burning stove, washing everyone’s clothes by hand, giving birth to multiple children, and obeying. Once I asked a woman in the bank if she could be anyone for a month who would she choose. She said her husband because he gets to leave the house and do whatever he wants.
To be poor in this world is one thing, but to be poor and a woman can be a complete loss of dignity.
Justice vs. ForgivenessThe movie contrasts the two main characters Jean Valljean and Jacque and their views on justice and forgiveness. Jean Valljean, a former prisoner, is moved by a strict code of right action with a base of humility, mercy, forgiveness, and love. He understands that people make mistakes but they can grow and change. He sees that forgiveness is more life-giving than justice. Jacque, the head of police, is bound up more in unrelenting justice and punishment for sinners. He follows man-made laws and sees it as his duty to carry out this law without mercy or concern for the human situation.
        Personally I think this topic is very difficult. What really is more important justice or forgiveness? Justice makes people accountable for their actions and tries to move towards making things equal, but forgiveness allows us to let go, heal, and move forward.
         There is a need for both. Por ejemplo, there is still much justice to which the US needs to answer in regards to its past actions toward Nicaragua and many other Central and Latin American countries. I want the US to answer for these actions. I don’t want them to be swept under the rug like nothing happened. Yet at the same time, how can we move forward and try to form better, peaceful relations if we are all continually denouncing and hating each other? There must be some level of forgiveness and healing here. (Although maybe it’s just not possible to forgive when the United States CONTINUES to do unjust things to these countries…)
Value of Human Life
The way Le Mis depicts human life in the movie is heart wrenching--so many people living impoverished, cold, hungry, sick, forgotten, homeless, and generally oppressed lives.  
      Do people still live this way? Yes!! Every day I see people being treated as less than human, their right to a human equality taken away. I see 17 people being crammed into one tiny house with a roof that leaks. I see people suffering from curable or manageable illnesses that can’t access the necessary medicine. I see men drunk out of their mind passed out in the dust at 7:45am as I walk to work. I see kids selling bags of water or cleaning car windows for a few Cordobas on busy streets when they should be in school. I see the way people react when I tell them that I am friends with people in Barrio Dimitrov, (the notoriously most dangerous neighborhood in Managua) as they assume that all people from that area are horrible and not to be bothered with.
       All of these problems stem from the fact that we have such a hard time recognizing the inherent worth of people in this world. There are so many things that could focus on in order to fix this world, but I don’t think anything is going to change until we start with the basics of seeing and recognizing the individual human worth and dignity of ourselves and each person that we meet.

Our Purpose
The movie’s characters Jean Valljean and Jacque feel very different about their purposes in life. Jean sees God in the face of humans and sees it as his duty to better the horrible circumstances of those around him. Jacque sees God as a higher being that cannot be found among the low lives of human creatures. He works rather to cleanse the world of sinners and punish them for their sins.
      I think it is important to side ourselves with Jean. We must remember that the Spirit of Life exists here and now in each one of us. Like Jean we must also remember that it is our duty in the world to cultivate and love this sacred spirit within ourselves and others. I am learning that the way we do this can take on so many forms as there are so many different ways to be a loving, life-giving person in this world.
Anyway…by the end of this movie I felt so emotionally drained. I’m not sure if this blog can fully express all the emotions that I felt and all of the thoughts that flew through my head, but at least I gave it a shot. I encourage everyone to go see the movie or rent it later or look up the songs on Youtube...if you can even do that. Thanks for reading my ramblings once again!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Music


It’s been a long time since my last blog…I’ve been pretty busy.
I also wasn’t really feeling very inspired by anything. Then today I was listening to some music, and I felt that feeling. I don’t know what it is about music that is so powerful, but it moves me in a distinct way.
So this blog is dedicated to a few Spanish songs that awake in me a longing for right action and justice in this world. While the lyrics are sometimes fuerte and hard to swallow, I love the fact that there are other people in this world that feel similar to me. Their music and lyrics water my seedling of hope for the world and its community of people.  So I decided that I would share a few of these songs with you!

Latinoamerica by Calle 13 Featuring  Susana Baca y Maria Rita
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkFJE8ZdeG8

This song is pure genius both musically and lyrically. Even the music video is amazing. It describes the Latin American land and people, stressing the pride and power that exists within them despite all the difficulties that have and still are occurring in this part of the world. The words are haunting but contain so much truth. Here are samples of some lyrics accompanied by my translations. (Side note: my translations unfortunately do not contain the beauty of the original rhyming and rhythm.)

“Soy lo que dejaron, soy toda la sobra de lo que se robaron. Un pueblo escondido en la cima, mi piel es de cuero por eso aguanta cualquier clima…Soy América latina, un pueblo sin piernas pero que camina.”

“I am what they left, I am all the leftover from what they robbed. A people hidden on the summit, my skin is leather that’s why I can deal with any climate…I am Latin America, a people without legs but that walks.”
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“Tú no puedes comprar el viento.
Tú no puedes comprar el sol. Tú no puedes comprar la lluvia. Tú no puedes comprar las nubes. Tú no puedes comprar los colores. Tú no puedes comprar mi alegría. Tú no puedes comprar mis dolores.”

“You can’t buy the wind. You can’t buy the sun. You can’t buy the rain. You can’t buy the clouds. You can’t buy the colors. You can’t buy my happiness. You can’t buy my pains.”
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Días de Amar byGuardabarranco
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E_s0xraZHo

This song was written by a Nicaraguan brother and sister duo. The brother has since died, but I was able to see the woman (Katia Cardanal) at a free concert last year. Quite a few of their songs touch on topics of treating other people with love, respect, and equality, but Días de Amar calls to me specifically because of the way it talks about the relationship between humans and the Earth.Here are thelyrics:

“Vienen ya días de amar la casa que  habitas, días de amar la tierra vegetal flor y animal.
Vienen ya ríos con agua sin envenenar, aguas que beben los que tienen sed igual que usted.
Vienen ya bosques pulmones de la gran ciudad, selvas que aroman en la oscuridad, noches de paz.”

“The days are coming when you will love the house in which you live, the days of loving the earth´s vegetables, flowers, and animals. They are coming, rivers with water free of poison, water that thirsty people drink, just like you. They are coming, forests the lungs of the great cities, jungles that perfume in the darkness, peaceful nights.”
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Milonga de un Moro Judio by Jorge Drexler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZqnTBEvSxQ

Drexler is from Uruguay, and his lyrics are fascinating.  This song, especially, many times moves me to tears with its beauty. I love the radical nonviolent stance that he takes, and the fact that he sees the great importance of respecting individual human life and dignity. But despite the worth of each individual life, he also looks at the world as something of one inclusive community that must work to live together in harmony.Hereissomesamples of his genius.

“Yo soy un moro judio que vive con los cristianos. No sé que dios es el mío ni cuales son mis hermanos.”
“I am a jewishmuslimthatliveswithchristians. I don´t know what god is mine nor who are my brothers.”
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“La guerra es muy mal escuela, no importa el disfraz que viste. Perdonen que no me aliste bajo ninguna bandera.”
“War is horrible schooling, it doesn´t matter the disguise it wears. Excuse me that I won´t enlist myself under any flag.¨
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¨Y a nadie le dí permiso para matar en mi nombre.
Un hombre no es más que un hombre, y si hay dios así lo quiso …Y no hay pueblo que no se haya creído el pueblo elegido.¨

¨And I never gave permission to anyone to kill in my name. One man is no more than another man, and if there is a god, that´s how he/she wanted it…And there is not a people that has been created as a chosen people.¨


Well…that’s a few songs for you all. What an amazing combination of strength to speak out and the creativity to do it through music, right!? If anyone else finds any great songs, please let me know!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Conclusions of a year



As we scrub and sweep and dust our whole house in preparation for the newbies that are going to be here in 2 days, the realization that I have been here a year begins to really hit me. As different moments from the last 12 months come floating back through the dust-filled air, I realize how much this year has taught me. Never in my life have I failed so badly at something and kept going. Never have I been so humbled. Never have I been forced to have so much patience. 

Until now I have only really done things at which I knew I could succeed. Failure is my biggest fear in this world, so I would generally only choose activities and situations where I had a certain level of control and certainty of quick success. (Maybe the one major exception to this would be working as a server at Silver Fox---a job I still have nightmares from. Ha) Personal success was my #1 goal, and if I happened to find myself in a difficult situation in which I was not succeeding easily, I would beat myself up. Suddenly I’m stupid, inadequate, and a disappointment. I transferred these feelings into others too, fearing that everyone else was seeing me as an idiot and therefore not worthy of love.

This year has forced me to confront all of these things. I have learned that it is okay to fail. I’ve learned how to pick myself back up and push forward despite more looming failure.  I’ve learned to give up this desire to play God and have control over everything. I’ve realized that I don’t have to be perfect, and that certain people will still be there to love me when I stumble. And perhaps most important, I’ve learned to practice love and patience with myself despite these mistakes. My love for the God inside me has grown exponentially this year.

But this year has not only been difficult times. There have been many beautiful, real, and joyous moments as well. So much so that I am highly considering staying longer than the original amount of time. 

Anyway, I would like to dedicate this blog to all the people this year that have helped me dare to leave my comfort zone, love myself deeper, and grow into a better person.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Random Pieces that Make Up the Whole


Amazing Quote
On the way to work recently I have been repeating the following quote to help center myself before I start the day. I think it is beautiful! I first read the whole thing, and then I try to concentrate on each individual line.

“I now open my mind
to receive my good.
From this day forward
I give freely and fearlessly into life,
and life gives back to me in abundance.
I am indeed grateful,
and I let it be so.”


ReOrientation
We recently just had Re-Orientation, a retreat in the mountains of Nicaragua with a US JV staff member named Dan. We were all asked to deeply reflect on this past almost year as well as prepare ourselves for the future changes that soon await us. The time to breathe and reflect was needed, and I left feeling much more centered. We were asked to write mission statements for this next year, filled with our desires for this next year. Mine is as follows:

~I dare to:
Grow into myself
Give all that I can
Love each person I meet
Find Balance in a world of extremes
Search for truth
Smile with joy and thanksgiving
Be.~

Already a couple weeks out of retreat I’m finding this mission statement so challenging, but I have to keep trying.

Scary Bus Incident
This week as Heather and I were on the bus back from work, I was standing there trying to process my day when I saw a man very close to me holding a machete in the face of a guy sitting down. My first thought was that the guy was showing his new purchase to a friend, and in the next second I realized the guy with the machete was no friend—he was trying to rob him. People started screaming and we all ran to the back of the bus yelling for the driver to open the door. I looked around and couldn’t find Heather. The doors opened, and we all pushed out in chaos. Neither Heather nor I got hurt or robbed, but we were very shaken up. That marked the first time that I’ve felt unsafe in this country, and it was a good wake up call to the reality of violence that happens around us here.  


Giving
The idea of giving and being selfless is a constant theme throughout my time here. I feel like I am always questioning how I spend my stipend. What should I do with this money? Do I spend this abundance on myself or on others? How much do I save for myself before I start becoming selfish? In general, the thoughts have all tended towards feeling anxious and negative. Even when I did use my stipend selflessly, I was still wracked with doubts about whether it was the right choice. Then suddenly I had a conversation with a Nicaraguan friend who had the complete opposite perspective. She said now that she has a good job and makes a decent paycheck, she genuinely enjoys inviting other people to treats or doing things for other with her extra money. I realized that I had taken something so beautiful and turned it into something horrible and stressful. I don’t think I should stop being intentional about where my stipend goes, but I think I was overlooking the essential joy that there is to be found in having a little extra and loving someone else enough to give.

Strangers vs. Acquaintances
One day someone said to me, ¨I used to be rude to cab drivers when they honk and try to get my attention, but then I realized that a lot them are parents of the kids I have in school. Now I try to be nice just in case.¨ A similar thing happened to me once in the US. Once I was driving to work behind this car that was going rather slow. I almost sped around and cut him off because I was running a little late. I remember feeling grateful that I didn´t, though, when I realized the car was going to my work too, and it was a parent of one of the kids at day camp. I found this mentality to be intriguing. Am I only nice to people that I know or potentially might come into contact with later? What makes someone I know deserve more patience or love than someone I won´t ever see again?

Presidential debates
We watched the presidential debate a couple weeks ago on international affairs. The moment it came on the TV, I suddenly felt stressed. I thought, This is my country. This is how we talk and interact with each other. I think just the nature of debate in general makes me feel uneasy--Lots of talking loudly. No one listening. Lack of Respect. Stubbornness. One person right, the other wrong. All or Nothing. The Need to Defend Oneself Against an Enemy. How can we expect our leaders to work to achieve life and dignity for the human beings in our country if they can´t even treat each other that way? It makes me frustrated that the people can´t just have a conversation. 

IPone5 Convo with Silvia
Awhile ago one of my co-workers told me that she saw on TV that the new iPhone5 just came out, and that some people were camped out in front of the store for 3 days prior in order to insure that they were able to buy this new product. She then said, “Es un pecado!” (It’s a sin!). She said that so many people just think that because they aren’t killing people (or things like that), that they aren’t doing anything bad. They don’t see what it is they really do (or don’t do). She said that those people are sinning because they are putting this THING before PEOPLE. I also wondered in my head how many of those people already had perfectly good working phones.

Playing in the rain day
Last week as Heather and I were ending aerobics class, it started pouring rain. Even though Nicaraguans have this dire fear of the rain, I had this major urge to go play in it. I tried to convince the little girls from our class to go out with me, but in the end I was alone. I ran out, jumped in the hugest puddle I could find, slipped, and immediately fell down. I didn’t let that stop me. I laid down in the middle of the basketball court and made water angels. Then the girls told me I should go down the slide. AWESOME IDEA!, I thought. But that metal slide was so slick that I shot right off, skidding two feet past the end. For the next week I couldn’t sleep on the left side of my body. I’m still trying to decide if it was vale la pena (worth the pain). haha

So those are a few random parts of my life here. Hope you are all doing well!!


Friday, October 12, 2012

Independence



A couple weeks ago I had my evaluation. My co-workers stated that I am too independent and that I need to work better with the team. I’ve always known that I don’t work very well in groups, so that wasn’t too big a surprise. The thing that I found interesting was the negative connotation that was associated with “independent.” In the United States if someone calls you independent, it is a high complement. Here, it implies that you are egotistical, selfish, and outside of relationship. Independent people are not communicating and working with the community, for the good of the community.

And they have a point--too much independence can be unhealthy. As much as I would really like to just do everything on my own and how I want it to be done, I need to learn to work in a team. I have to learn when to use my voice and suggestions and then when to listen and follow. I have to learn to trust that I’m not the only person that can do things right. This ability of being able to work in a group does not only apply to jobs, however. It also applies to communal living—whether it be in our intentional JV community, a married couple, a family, a society, and/or our world. All of these could be bettered with a little less independence and a little more communal thought and action.


It is so ingrained in our culture to be independent that I think we even equate independence with freedom. Here I am learning that this quest for independence tends to border greatly on selfishness, which in turn tends to go limiting the freedom of many other people. Our world can’t possibly survive if everyone tries to live independent lives. We are all here trying to share this Earth, so by default we are all participating in a type of communal living. No one is outside. Even if you lived on an uninhabited island by yourself, you would still be part of the community, as the air you breathe is still connected with the air that everyone else breathes and pollutes in this world.


Unfortunately with communal living comes compromise and sacrifice. We might not always come out with everything that we personally want, but if the broader picture looks healthy, then we need to be okay with conceding a bit. We have to realize that although it may feel like we are each the center of the universe, we are only one part of something much larger.

I will leave you with a quote by MLK Jr. that I think is relevant to this blog:


“In a real sense all life is interrelated. All…are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought t be until I am what I ought to be. This is the inter-related structure of reality.”

Love, Jana
 

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Social Business


At the moment I am in the middle of reading Creating a World Without Poverty: Social Business and the Future of Capitalism by Muhammad Yunus (the man that is known for starting micro-lending banks). I wish so much that I had started reading it earlier!! The man is a genius! He writes that while many non-profits, NGOs and foundations do good work in our society, the fact that they can only survive through donations can make them unstable and unsustainable. Also, leaders of these types of services end up dedicating a great chunk of time to finding and raising this money—time that could be spent in the pursuit of the project’s true goal of serving society. Instead, we should be looking at creating programs and projects that are self-sustaining (aka. over time they can support themselves). 

For Yunus, the answer to the world’s humanitarian issues is to combine this idea of bettering society with the self-sustaining idea of business. This can be done in a few different ways. One way would be to start a business that deals with a social need but does not see profit as its main objective. While some profit is necessary to allow for expansion and betterment of services, this idea of making as much money as you can to please your personal bank account and your stock holders is not at the first concern. He gives the example of a social business that,
“manufactures and sells high-quality nutritious food products at very low prices to a targeted market of the poor and underfed children. These products can be cheaper because they do not compete in the luxury market and therefore don’t require costly packaging or advertising, and because the company that sells them is not compelled to maximize its profit.”

Another type of social business is to set up what we would consider a normal “profit-maximizing” business, but this business is staffed and eventually owned by the poor or oppressed people of society. This type will allow the poor to take matters directly into their own hands, giving them the opportunity to use their own skills and knowledge to work their way out of poverty.

I have been thinking a lot about this idea of social business lately, and it very much intrigues me. I have even been trying to apply the idea to my work here in Nicaragua. While the micro-lending bank in which I work has proven to be (although not perfect), a great example of social business put into practice, the rest of project of Proyecto Generando Vida does not seem as stable. Our director spends a lot of time finding donors each year to cover the costs that the many other programs we offer consume. Therefore, I have been asking myself, ‘what could we do to make our project more sustainable?’ I actually thought of a few ideas, but with my lack of business background, I don’t yet trust that they could actually work.

 But the fact that I am so fascinated and inspired by this concept of social business is making me think about whether or not I would possibly like to try something in this area in the future…? Does anyone know of a social business school? Haha

-Jana

P.S. I would like to give a special thanks to my Dad who gave me that book to read, along with the “Case for Social Enterprise” packet that he just sent me in the mail. If you read this, Dad, I would love to talk to you more about how you have been trying to incorporate this idea more into ACH!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Simplicity


I recently read the ‘Send Me to Serve’ fundraising page of one of the new JVs that will be coming in December, and one thing she wrote significantly struck me. She wrote that the vow to simple living that we take during these two years is NOT a vow to poverty. Simple living is a choice to love the Earth. It is a choice to rid our lives of unnecessary things. It is a choice to move towards a greater happiness. Poverty on the other hand is many times not a choice. It is the oppressive and painful force that many of the women in my banks struggle with daily.

I may live more simply here, but I definitely do not live in poverty.  I have regular meals, my rent/light/water/phone bills are easily paid each month, I have good health insurance, and on top of this, JVC gives me a stipend--I have everything I need and a little extra.  And I am so, so happy.
 I think this is why it always seemed weird to me when people would say things like, “Oh poor you!” when I tell them about some of the aspects of our simple lifestyles here:

No car
No washing machine/dryer
No dish washer
No cell phone
No internet
No TV
No hot water heater
No air condition
Less variety of diet
& Less space for privacy

Yes, sometimes these can be agitating, but in many ways I feel that my life here has allowed me to find a new kind of liberation. I feel more in touch with myself and with those around me. I appreciate things/moments more. I feel closer to the Earth.

I realize many of the items on the list above are products of technology, but I don’t want you to think that I’m saying all technology is inherently bad. Hell, I’m using technology right now to communicate all of this to you! In moderation, things like cell phones and internet can be very useful and lead to many good things. For example, I heard that when the computer was first becoming widely distributed in the U.S., people thought it would revolutionize the work place—everyone could get their work done in half the time and therefore only work half as much! Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be how things turned out. I think many of us have attached ourselves to machines and the latest technology thinking that it will make our lives easier and better, but many times we become more stressed and less happy. The United States may be one of the most efficient and well-connected places in the world due to technology, but what does this matter if we cannot be truly loving and present to ourselves, the person sitting next to us, the Earth, and God? For me, simple living seems to be a giant step in the right direction towards all of those. 

Pues, with all that being said…..While I have learned a lot in my 8 months here, I recognize that I am still not the biggest expert on simple living. If any of you have thoughts/experiences to share or differing points of view, I would love to hear them.

Thanks for reading. : )

-Jana